Let the record show, my mother raised me, so let me humblebrag for a second, I think she did a wonderful job! Although some of her methods were unconventional, in my family the village raises the children, so I was fortunate enough to be reared by my parents along with my grandparents, aunts, and uncles. So, who knew that once I had my children our parenting styles would be so different? Growing up watching my mother deal with my brother and I was something like art. She was loving yet strict, compassionate yet stern. She cooked for us, made sure we had vegetables (among other things) Therefore, I believed that once I had my own children I would follow her example because it was natural to me right? Fast forward to me with my children, I couldn’t be more wrong.
I noticed differences as my children got older and although my mother is the doting Bibi (aka Grandmother) she began to tell me why she didn’t particularly agree with the way I parent my children. There are several topics that are items of contempt, but for the sake of time we will narrow it down to three.
My Mother Believes: That alkaline water isn’t necessary, and neither are organic fruits and veggies. Growing up we didn’t need organic, we bought the vegetables, boiled them, and that made them organic.
I believe: Alkaline water has a better PH and if they begin drinking it now, it becomes a habit. Organic vegetables tend to last longer and that have fewer pesticides
Verdict: When the kids are with my parents, they drink whatever water my mommy purchased, and she isn’t paying a higher price for organic vegetables.
My Mother Believes: I do not discipline my children enough; I also spend too much time explaining why they are in trouble.
I believe: It’s so important that my children can use their voice and I can control my emotions before I discipline them.
Verdict: There has yet to be one, mommy still rolls her eyes when I discipline my children. I believe that we will continue to agree to disagree
My Mother Believes: Trey doesn’t need a new pair of Jordan’s, Weslie is too young to get her nails done, everything doesn’t HAVE to be name brand.
I believe: I actually agree with her on this! After realizing that new shoes come out every other week I can’t keep up and furthermore, they are growing by leaps and bounds so maybe I can pull back on the Ralph Lauren.
Verdict: Mommy wins! I keep the Ralph Lauren buying to my mother.
In all honesty, these are funny issues to have to contend with, but I never realized that I would disagree greatly with the person who raised me because all along I felt that she was doing it correctly. However, the most important thing that I’ve learned from my mother is that there is no manual to raising kids, everyone does it differently and it’s important to never judge one’s journey. Therefore, even with all our differing views, she’s my mother and I am completely enamored with the way she raised us. She forgives me for my lack of discipline, and I forgive her for giving my kids cookies at 10:00 p.m.