Inevitably, I seem to think I have replied to a message at least once every few days, only to realize I never did. I used to delay opening messages till I was ready to read them. That worked well until I became a mom. Unfortunately, now, sometimes messages go days without a response, and it is not for lack of care or concern. Communication went from a strength to a weakness.
So often,a message gets opened, usually by me, sometimes by my daughter, and that little reminder goes away. Only for it to be buried between the 15 sales promotion emails a day. This is only a slight exaggeration, but not much. Only for me to remember to myself that I think I saw something hours to days later. It’s not for lack of care or consideration of the sender. Like I said, sometimes my kid opens things, one time I realized my car was doing it. But most often, I see a message while in the middle of something else. My ADHD kicks in, and I feel like I need to read it right then and there in the moment, and then something else takes priority of my attention. There is not a handy button in text messages like email where you can flag for follow-up or mark something you once read as unread. I wonder if there is a suggestion box for the big phone companies for their next update?
Lately, my brain has just hit max capacity. This is a common cry I call out now: the mental load of parenthood is sometimes too much. Sometimes, I spend more time and effort mentally responding than actually just responding. The mental exhaustion from day-to-day life sometimes just puts me at my max capacity, where I cannot handle adding anything else. Being the coordinator of many things for our family, work, and other personal commitments affects my communication and conversations, especially texts after a certain hour.
However, I love communicating with friends and loved ones. I enjoy getting updates about life and what is happening, the good and the sad. This is where I call out to those that I know and love. Please know I am never ignoring you on purpose. I do not want to ghost you. I want to hear from you. I want to be included. I am reading what you share and how you feel.
At this stage in life, I shifted from being the one on top of all the messages to always reaching out to check on everyone else. I knew that sometimes multiple messages would be sent before I would get a response, and I still knew my friends cared for me and what I was sharing, but at that time in their lives, they weren’t always able to respond promptly.
Now, I need others to give me grace, be the one to reach out more and first and know it might be a few messages before I can respond. But please, never stop reaching out and communicating. I’m sorry I replied in my head, and I am grateful for the friendships that give grace for slow or late communication.
Sincerely overwhelmed mothers everywhere.