As mothers and wives, we often think things we would never say out loud. Be it about our children, our partners, our in-laws, etc. In my experience, those thoughts are never intended for another soul to hear. I’m much more content to let the thoughts bounce around my brain, bury them deep down in my subconscious, and go on living my life. But recently, my reality collided with those suppressed thoughts.
I was playing dolls with my daughter at 5 AM. I was exhausted, and despite repeated attempts to get her back in bed, she resisted. So, I dragged my lifeless body onto the floor and played pretend with her favorite doll, Anna. We began making pretend dinner, soothing her pretend babies, and scurrying about the pretend kitchen to ensure everything was right. And then I wondered, where the hell is Anna’s partner? Why aren’t they helping with these kids? Why is this all on Anna? After a few minutes of empathizing with a fake doll, I came to and walked upstairs. I found my husband sleeping peacefully and was overcome with rage. At that moment, I wanted to blurt out one of those “never meant to be heard” thoughts and say some version of—I’m lonely and need help with the kids, I need you to step up, I don’t like you right now, etc. But alas, I suppressed the thoughts and went on about my day (albeit full of rage).
This got me thinking.
How many women/mothers/wives out there are thinking similar things but not saying them out loud? How many of them find motherhood exhausting? How many of them feel guilty for even thinking about it?
So, I solicited my friends and family alike to tell me (with anonymity, of course) what their biggest mama confessions are. What are you thinking but not saying out loud about motherhood? After reviewing the submissions, I compiled a list of my all-time favorites below:
CONFESSIONS OF HONEST MAMAS:
- Now that I’m a mother, I understand what I didn’t get as a child.
- I don’t like my husband right now.
- I hate playing with my kids.
- I love my family so much, but I miss my old life.
- I hate breastfeeding and everyone who makes me feel bad about giving my child formula.
- Motherhood is harder and lonelier than I expected.
- I’m so touched out that I don’t want my husband to touch me.
- I wish I had my own bedroom.
- I love my daughter more than I love my husband.
- My kids look and act like their daddy, and it shows.