What Dads Don’t Say and What Moms Can Learn From Them


With Father’s Day quickly approaching, I took some time to reflect on my personal experience with how differently my husband and I parent. Over the course of a week, I stopped to listen to all the things I say to my kids and all the things my husband doesn’t say.  I noticed what dads don’t say can be just as important as what they do say, and how as a mother, I can learn – yes you heard that right – learn from some of HIS wisdom.

Things I never hear from my husband’s mouth to our children…

  • Let’s pick out your clothes.
  • Want to help me clean?
  • We’ve played enough video games.
  • Let’s just stay in the shallow-end of the pool.
  • We should check the calendar.
  • You are too little.
  • It might be dangerous.
  • Can’t right now honey, I have to make dinner.
  • How do you feel about that?
  • No we can’t go out in the rain.
  • Doesn’t matter if you win or lose, it’s how you play the game.
  • Let me braid your hair.
  • No you can’t have your iPad.
  • Let’s stop and take a selfie.
  • We can play that later.
  • It’s OK; everyone cries.
  • Shall we pick up our toys?
  • Pajamas aren’t acceptable to wear to school.
  • We should make a list.
  • No, we can’t have cereal for dinner.

What I learned from this experiment was that in our house, more often than not, Dad says yes, and Mom says no. Dads rough house and are silly. They get dirty, make funny noises, tell stories, watch scary movies, and eat pizza with no veggies. This experiment was a great reminder to live in the moment, breathe, and enjoy the freedom of playtime. In the future, I want to do a better job getting messy, being crazy, and simply enjoying our children. Happy Father’s Day to all the dads who breathe new life into their families, especially the father of my children.


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Mom | wife | pug-lover extraordinaire. This type-A personality wife and mother of two girly princesses Ellie (5) and Emerson (3) and pug-mom to Coal-B-Jak, is living the dream (or sometimes just staying afloat), in Carmel, Indiana. A communication professional with over 15 years working for the world’s largest education company, Jamie manages over 25 social media channels for their technology learning brands. An avid interior design enthusiast and reader, Ms. Shoup spends most of her time corralling the troops on the home-front and finding new ways to create, organize and inspire her girls to experience all life has to offer. She reminds everyone to dance like no one is watching – because they’re not, they are looking at their phones. So get on the dance floor! Keep up with her on Twitter @JamieShoup76.


  1. I’m sorry to hear that. I thought those gender binary concepts died with our parents’ generation.
    I hear what you’re saying, and you’re right – make a point for yourself to do the fun things more – be the good cop for once. Hopefully you can get your partner to chip in on the tough/tedious parenting ‘bad cop’ duties. Good luck, hang in there, and get counseling if necessary.

  2. I hope they have died, I was simply stating that in our own house I did a short study and was shocked at what I found. Exactly don’t sweat the small stuff.
    The piece was an homage to my husband as he does more than his share – he just does such different activities, but important they are! I hope it didn’t come off as he doesn’t do anything as that is not the case. Ha 🙂 none needed but thank you for your concern. lol

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