Dear Boy Mom…What’s it Like?


Dear Boy Mom,

What’s it like?

What’s it like having little hands reaching out only for you? I know my daughters love me, but man do they love my husband more. I try and act like it doesn’t affect me but deep inside it rips my heart apart.

What’s it like to search for little bow ties and matching hats? I know it’s easy to find pretty dresses with matching shoes and purses. But sometimes, my eyes wander to the boy’s section just to see what matching button-down shirt they have with cute shoes. I love dressing my daughters up in matching clothing, but I also imagine what a son would look like standing next to them.

What’s it like to have boys wrestling and destroying your house? My girls do some damage just by hair pulling, pushing, and biting. I love being a girl mom, but the attitudes, opinions, and high-pitched screaming have worn me out. I just have to ask if you feel as overwhelmed as I am?

What’s it like to beam with pride that you have a son? Do people smile ear-to-ear and tell you how blessed you are to have a little man in your life? I’m proud of my daughters, but when I tell people I have two girls, they immediately give me condolences assuming I’ll have a rough patch with them as teenagers. Maybe I will, or maybe I won’t, but I also wonder if you get the same reaction to having all boys?

What’s it like to see your husband with your sons? Do you get butterflies in your stomach? My heart swells watching my husband interact with my daughters; after all, he is the favorite parent. I just wonder if you feel the same way about your husband with your sons because there’s something to be said about a little boy looking up to his father.

I have to ask, do people attack you with questions about growing your family? Do they make an encouraging expression and ask if you’d try again for a girl? And do they ever respond “poor you” because boys surround you? I have to be honest, when I share that I have two girls, the majority respond with “your poor husband,” and I immediately break down in tears.

I don’t cry for myself but for those struggling with infertility. Why do people have to stick their foot in where it doesn’t belong? What if I don’t have that option to grow my family?

I don’t cry for my husband because he is rich. He is surrounded by three beautiful women. He has a roof over his head, food in the kitchen, and a family he comes home to daily. He has little hands that reach for him every time he walks into the room. We don’t have much, but we have everything we need.

I don’t cry because I don’t have a son. No, I cry because these people make me feel like I’m not enough. I feel like a failure because I don’t have “one of each,” so therefore, my family is not complete. People look at my family and determine we’re not done because we do not have the standard of one boy and one girl. People shake their finger at me and say, “you have to get moving and give your husband a boy.” Science has proven that’s not true, but it doesn’t hide the fact the burden women carry with family planning.

I cry because somehow, some way, the family I created isn’t enough, and I just wonder if you have the same feelings?

Sending my love,

Girl Mom