Defining Luxury In Motherhood


motherhoodMy concept of luxury has dramatically shifted from my pre-baby self. Luxury in the past would have meant occasional expensive items like a beautiful purse, a once-in-a-lifetime trip to Italy, or a foodie meal out with my husband, accompanied by a delicious glass of red wine. Motherhood has now turned the previously mundane into indulgent luxury.

I am writing this article alone in one of my favorite local coffee shops. I am sipping a warm latte and nibbling a homemade biscuit with melted pimento cheese. I am listening to cheerful, relaxing music on my earphones. No one is tugging on my sleeve. No one is asking to share my water. No one is demanding I change the music to their favorite song. No one is asking me for anything. I am alone, happily settled into a cozy nook. I open my laptop, take a few moments just breathing, and begin to get my thoughts onto the page. 

I find myself relaxing into this moment and reminiscing on all the times I felt over-touched, depleted of energy, and overwhelmed from being constantly needed by others. Then my thoughts drifted to the first times I realized I was a little less acutely needed than before. These times were often bittersweet but also so luxurious after years of diapers and nights without sleep.

The first morning my kids went downstairs without waking me, turned on cartoons, and made their breakfast, was positively blissful. I will never forget that moment and how it made me feel. Sure, when I went down, I found they had goldfish crackers and chocolate chips for breakfast, but they had it without asking me to do a thing. Now when I roll over on a weekend morning and close my eyes again instead of hopping out of bed, I feel pampered.

I got a massage in the immediate postpartum period, which felt like an extravagance. But now, even smaller, more mundane things feel just as decadent. Like sitting here mid-day enjoying the quiet, without rushing to get to the next stop or worrying about other people needing anything from me. These moments feel truly decadent.

I have traded much of my former lifestyle for the self-sacrifice parenthood requires, but in doing so, I have also gained so much. I have learned that when the roses do pop up, I’d better stop and smell them and truly revel in that moment. It’s too easy to get caught up in the busy stresses of modern parenthood, work, and daily life. But even amid the chaos, there is always something to be grateful for.

In fact, now, the little moments of decadence often feel much more special and elusive, more pampering than the fanciest meal out ever did before I had children. And while I may not have as much time or money to indulge in luxury as I once did, I have learned that true luxury is not about expensive things or extravagant experiences. It’s about finding beauty and joy in life’s everyday moments and allowing myself to revel in them.

As a mom, I have come to appreciate life’s simple things more than ever. To embrace the little luxuries that bring joy to a busy day. A cup of coffee, a quiet moment in a hot shower, the silence right after my children fall asleep. I wouldn’t have it any other way. The beauty of motherhood lies not in the grand gestures but in the small moments that keep me grounded, energized, and fulfilled. So, my fellow mothers, today I want you to treat yourself to something small that brings you joy. Savor every moment of this moment of luxury – you deserve it. 

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Lindsay Moore-Ostby
I am a primary care physician, lactation consultant, and co-owner of Indy Direct Docs, an Indianapolis direct primary care clinic. I love that my job lets me care for people of all ages. I especially love supporting my patients in the postpartum period, often with in-home visits that allow me to really personalize support. I work hard, but coming home to my family is the best. I live in Indianapolis with my husband and two young children. We love legos, building toys of all kinds, walks in nature, and playing pretend. Our favorite dinner is either breakfast-for-dinner or any night my husband makes homemade pizza. And nothing beats a good family snuggle on the couch.