Merriam-Webster refers to tchotchkes as “a knickknack or trinket.” Wikipedia says they’re “small miscellaneous items.” In our house, they are the random objects that get left in the car, living room, or office following any number of events, which will only continue to clutter our lives further. And as such, I am done with them altogether.
Tchotchkes invade our lives in countless ways. For our family, they most commonly arrive during birthday parties. The dreaded gift bag on your way out will inevitably sit in my car, contents strewn about for weeks at a time. The glitter tattoos, slap bracelets, pop-it fidgets, and stress balls are always a delightful surprise when you find them in couch cushions months after the party took place. I am not sure why we continue this gift bag tradition. I recently held my daughter’s 4th birthday and immediately drop-shipped every tchotchke in the shape of a donut I could find to my house for 12 little collectors. But no more. I’m done.
School parties are another tchotchke paradise. Valentine’s Day is often the biggest culprit. This year, I was quite excited because, due to my planning, both children would be absent on the day of their Valentine’s parties. I was smiling ear to ear when I realized I wouldn’t have to send 24 bags of tchotchkes to school only to receive 24 more in return. I had outsmarted those things! So imagine my surprise when both my kiddos brought home a large bag of “Valentine” tchotchkes almost a week later upon returning from vacation. Crap. (Pun intended.)
Can’t we all just agree these aren’t needed? Unless you’re a newbie, I think most parents can agree on the true value of a tchotchke. Unless you find currency in bouncy balls and stickers, there isn’t any. So, can’t we call a truce? If we all stand strong, our cars will be cleaner, our wallets will be thicker, and gosh darn it, we all win. Down with tchotchkes! I. Am. Done.
