I Was Mom Shamed for Listening to Rap Music


woman listening to music

Picture this:

It’s a Friday evening. I just got off work and picked up my son from daycare. We are cruising with the windows down, enjoying the cooler weather and trying to hold on to what is left of summer. In the background there is a little Ice Cube playing “today was a good day.”  I pull into a parking spot at the grocery store; windows still down, music turned up…nothing I would consider obnoxious to those around us.

That’s when I saw her. A petite woman with an angled bob and an overfilled cart. She had an obvious stink eye aimed in my direction and her lips were pursed like she was on the verge of word vomit, which she was. 

“You listen to that GARBAGE with your baby in the car,” she said hastily. 

It took me a second to realize she was talking to me. “Excuse me?” I politely replied. 

(FIRST OF ALL, this is old school Ice Cube…a classic. The furthest thing from garbage in my opinion.)

“If you’re not careful that boy will grow up to be a hoodlum.”

*PAUSE* Huh? Whaaat? Shocked, dumbfounded really…I couldn’t comprehend what she just said to me.

“I’m sorry? Did you just say hoodlum?”

(Keep in mind it has been a long week. I’m tired. My son’s hungry. We are NOT in the mood for a ‘tude if you catch my drift.)

“Honestly,” I said, “it’s none of your damn business.”

Her mouth fell open so wide I should’ve walked right up to her and wired her bottom jaw shut. She seemed surprised I wasn’t gracious for her unsolicited advice. That or she disapproved of me cussing in front of my kid.  Probably the latter coming from judgy Judy. I proceeded to grab the diaper bag and make my way to the entrance of the store undeterred by her flawed remark.

My question is…

Why do people feel they have the right to comment on or judge anyone’s parenting choices. Unless that child is truly being harmed keep the “advice” to yourself.


We’re not all alike. We have different values and beliefs. We have different views of the world and different experiences that shape the choices we make. So you don’t agree with the way someone is raising their child, that doesn’t make you the matriarch of parents everywhere. I’m sure there are several instances your judgment could come into question too, Judy.

Yes, I enjoy rap music.

Yes, I listen to it when my child is in the car.

And NO, I don’t care what your opinion is.

Because I have to say it was a good day and if you start minding your own business you could have one of those too.


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