Rip it Real Good – Momma’s First Wax


It seems everywhere I turn, there’s talk of self-care. They say you can’t pour from an empty cup. They say to take time for yourself, momma! They say to avoid burnout and attend to your needs for a change. Like so many other mommas, I too have experienced a season of burnout… with shaving. I have thought so many times about giving up shaving my Sasquatch legs and lady bits and getting them waxed instead but have always chickened out. I began to think, Could getting waxed be a form of self-care for me? Can something painful actually ease my suffering from the endless task that is shaving?

I decided to muster up the courage and do it. With a tropical vacation approaching, I wanted to get the ball rolling now. The fact is, I barely get enough time to shower as it is with a 2-year-old and 1-year-old. Shaving my legs just adds on minutes that I don’t have, no matter how great the razor is. I’ve always had sensitive skin with the hair of Tom Selleck body-wide, so to say I was nervous would be a complete understatement. I reached out to numerous friends, as well as strangers on the Internet, to inquire about where to go and any tips they had. I decided on a local spa that I was familiar with that had very reasonable prices. Turns out, I knew the gal who’d be balding me. I couldn’t decide if that would be a good thing or completely weird. She told me to make sure I had a few weeks of hair growth, about the size of a grain of rice. Oh, I definitely have rice-sized hairs… but it’s only been about a week since I last shaved. Hence why I need help!

The day of my wax came, and I was feeling more excited than nervous. Could my days of razor burn and always missing a few totally-visible-in-a-bikini hairs finally be over? Of course, in true mom fashion, I was rushing out the door to make it on time to my appointment. I wanted to exfoliate first and had to nurse my baby boy. WAIT! Would my breastfeeding hormones make it more painful to get waxed? Guess we’ll find out. In my rush, I also forgot to pop a couple ibuprofen like I had read about when researching helpful tips and tricks. Oh, well. Power through. 

My waxer made me feel extremely comfortable right from the start. I had to wear some paper underwear, which made me feel better than being completely bare down there for my first go-round – I had decided to do a bikini wax rather than the full-blown Brazilian to ease my way into the torture. At least I don’t have to go into the OBGYN appointment position today.

In uncomfortable situations, I usually tend to make jokes to avoid awkwardness a la Chandler Bing… so as she walked me through the process I began to ramble about how I was afraid I’d shout out “NO, KELLY CLARKSON!” like Steve Carell’s character does in 40-Year-Old Virgin when getting his chest waxed. We began with the inner thigh, and the hard wax felt very warm but not painful. I took a deep breath preparing for the first rip and, with little warning, she tore what felt like nine million hairs from root to tip out of me. “About what I was expecting,” I told her. “Definitely hurt, but bearable. And I didn’t scream any celebrity names or profanities!”

I had to go to my zen place for the remainder of the appointment like I did during childbirth. If I spoke, I reverted to my jokes to keep it light even though she was inflicting hurt all up in my business. It definitely felt more sensitive the more she waxed inward. I took a lot of deep breaths and kept calm. A few times, I could feel tears welling up in my eyes as I swore I could feel and hear every hair follicle from the rip exit my skin. I remained cool, calm, and collected. She continued to ask how I was doing and performed techniques to ease the discomfort.

After about an hour, she told me that we had one to go and I breathed a sigh of relief. I hadn’t looked down yet. Maybe I was afraid I’d be close to bleeding out or it wouldn’t work as well for my large and in charge hair as I was so desperately hoping. The last rip was done, and she rubbed some soothing aloe on my skin. I could still feel some tingle and throbbing, but the aloe helped. She exited the room and I finally looked down. Wow, that’s red! But wow, that’s smooth! I had some bumps, but my upper thighs and bikini zone were hair free! I was sure this had to be a miracle procedure. She assured me that the irritation would fade and gave me a few more pointers before I left. 

It’s been a few weeks since my wax, and I am so happy with my decision. I had no complications, and actually my Tom Selleck hair hasn’t grown back as lavish. I’m so thrilled with it that I’m considering doing more areas in the future, like armpits. We’ll see if I can keep up this level of courage. I no longer have to look on with envy as other women display beautifully smooth limbs and bits in warm weather. I can go on vacation without fear of embarrassment. Yes, it hurt. No, it doesn’t hurt as badly as giving birth. Yes, it was a smidge awkward. No, I certainly didn’t expect to think of a bikini wax as a form of self-care, but I was able to take time for myself, get out of my comfort zone, and feel good after… that’s a cup filler for sure!