Saying Goodbye to My Adolescence

For all the angst, my teenage years were amazing. The reason I remember this is because I have several journals chronicling the ages 13-18 that tell me just how idealistic I was at that age. Now that I think about it why wouldn’t they be amazing, I had no worries? I had no children, I had no bills, I was able to spend my money the way I pleased. On the weekends I worked for a couple of hours, made some money and allocated it in a way to make me happy, I had self-care down to a science by the time I was 17.

I remember the 90s like it was yesterday, the music (yes, R Kelly was a part of this), the movies (House Party is still my favorite), and the shows (didn’t everyone watch 90210 on Thursday and love Dylan McKay). As a mother, these are things I could not wait to share with my children, even though I know they wouldn’t find it as awesome as I did. However, lately, my adolescence has been causing me a bit on angst because the things that I once loved are changing or they are going away, making me painfully aware that my adolescence is gone.

For all the greatness that was the 90s, in recent years it has been met with the same amount of disappointment. From Bill Cosby going to prison, to R. Kelley finally being punished for his various indiscretions. Then I was hit with the ultimate sadness on March 4^th, when we lost Luke Perry, my adolescent crush whose poster was still in my closet when my parents sold their house. He died of a massive stroke at 52 years old and for some reason, this time my friends and I were not okay. Now, of course, I didn’t know him and it was just the ultimate schoolgirl crush, but it awakened something in me and a lot of my friends…. are we at the point where we begin losing things that are so familiar?

I relish in the fact that I had an extremely great childhood/adolescence, one that I couldn’t wait to share when I had my own child. However, I am not naïve to the fact that things change, people wear a mask, and no one lives forever. So, what I have learned is that I need to hold dear to the things that remain, the things that were important to me then and just as important to me now. I am grateful for the past and look forward to the present, fortunately, Google exists and I will always be able to share this with my children.