Trying to navigate the murky waters of social media can be tricky – luckily, I’m here to help! I’ve been on some form of social media or another for 18-ish years.
Remember the GeoCities pages? Those were the Facebook pages of the early 2000s. AIM, MSN Messenger, ICQ – an away message on one of those platforms was similar to a status update or a Tweet today.
The grand year of 2017 has so many more options for oversharing, over-judging, and over-extending our mental and emotional capacities. What are the differences between Facebook and Twitter? How do you choose between Instagram and Snapchat?
I’m here to answer your long-pondered questions, so sit back and relax while I delve into the deep darkness that is social media.
This is the gateway drug. This is where the newbies start. Facebook is the place for petty fights, recipes, and local barter sites. Everyone has a craft business page on Facebook (myself included!). MLM sales and fitness/health coaching/shaming FLOURISH on Facebook. “If I can do it with my busy schedule, YOU HAVE NO EXCUSES, EXHAUSTED OVERWORKED MOMS.” You’ll find literal fake news here (not the DT kind) that a scary portion of the general population believes. Show-off selfies and viral videos and your friends going ‘Live’ to share their brand of hilarity. Mommy blogs. My marriage is perfect. Stalking. Dirty-laundry airing. Home of the meme. Where it’s okay to be hateful in the name of free speech. Home of the utterly confusing & stalk-inducing ‘it’s complicated’ relationship. Facebook is the melting pot of the social media world. You’re just as likely to see your grandmother commenting ‘sexy!’ on your shirtless selfie as you are to find a former classmate promoting their business. ANYTHING GOES ON FACEBOOK. Unless you’re a breastfeeding mother – then, you can GET OUT. Boobs aren’t allowed here unless they’re sexy.
The Tweet Feed has two spectrums with no in-between. On one side, you have the smart, witty, and political. On the other side, you have the high school kids airing their relationship grievances for all future employers to see. Tread carefully here. When in doubt, air on the side of the witty.
Instagram is for the hipsters. For the ‘my life is perfect’ people. The ‘I do cool things’ people. Insta posts are for the expensive, healthy, {probably} vegan food. Instagram is for the ‘I drink Starbucks & shop at Target’ moms {::guilty!::}. Recently, I’ve found a mass of formerly-active Facebookers on Instagram. It allows you to share just enough without oversharing – and you can beautify your share with a fancy filter to make it even more envy-worthy {Valencia for LIFE}. Instagram is for those who aren’t into drama. They’re here to live a beautiful, full life, man, complete with mountains & coffee & avocado toast. They don’t have time for your judgment OR baby puke selfies. Instagram is a safe-space.
Snapchat
Ohhhh, Snapchat. Home of the screenshot. Home of the sexy selfie that you don’t necessarily want to keep on your phone. Snapchat is for when you look great and want the world to see how cute you are, but you need to look just a little bit greater, so you slap on the soft focus filter or an adorable hipster bunny filter and screenshot your own photo to make as your Facebook profile photo so that everyone can tell you how cute you are. Oh. Let’s not forget about the snap stories. Does anyone even watch those?
LinkedIn is a professional networking site. In years past, in order to add someone to your network, you had to know them in some capacity. Lately, it’s feeling more Facebook-ish. You can pretty much add whoever you want to your network. Every so often (and always disappointingly), I am hit on via a private message on LinkedIn. Usually, by a married man who knows his LinkedIn messages aren’t the first place his wife will search if she gets nosy. It’s still an okay-ish place to be for job searching/hunting down connections. A definite must for the professional-y professional. Just be sure to keep your job history & skills up-to-date!
Sarahah
Sarahah is the baby of social networking. Launched in 2016, it gained popularity this year. It’s an anonymous place to people to give feedback to each other. Essentially, Sarahah boils down to this:
‘I’m hoping people will confess their undying love and adoration for me, but most likely, I’ll get trolled which will make me feel worse about myself. I’ll also let the messages get too deep into my head and obsess over who sent it.’
I don’t recommend Sarahah to the faint of heart. Or anyone with a self-esteem. Or just people in general.
Google+
LOL. No one uses this.
{Disclaimer :: This post was written tongue-in-check with no harm intended! The writer is fully aware of how annoying her kid-poop posts are.}
