Stop Saying Sorry!



My family and I were vacationing at Gulf Shore a couple of years ago. We love it down there and decided to stay 9 days. My husband handled the reservation for our condo. On our 8th day of vacation, we spent the morning at the beach and headed back to our place for lunch. When we got there we discovered housekeeping was starting to clean for the next family…who would be coming later that day. Apparently, my husband got the dates wrong and we needed to get out of there ASAP. The cleaning crew was super kind and gave us 30 minutes to pack up all of our stuff. At that time, we had a 1, 4 and 7-year-old, so needless to say we had A TON OF STUFF! My husband and I threw stuff into bags, quickly changed out of our swimsuits and got in the car for a 12-hour trip back home. I remember sitting down in the passenger seat, still covered in salt water and sand in my shoes, I thought “I have to feel this way for 12 more hours…in a car…with 3 small children.”

My husband couldn’t stop laughing. “I can’t believe we got evicted!” he kept saying. It was pretty funny and I thought I should laugh or I might start to cry. My kids couldn’t understand what just happened. I did find solace in knowing that this was 100% not my fault. I am the type of person that if I can claim any responsibility for something going wrong, I will gladly say “I am so sorry!”. However, over the next long 12 hours, my husband never once said “sorry.”

If roles were reversed I would have been in tears, apologizing for this mix-up. I would have felt horrible that I made my family make such a crazy exit. I would have apologized approximately 200 times to the housekeeping staff for my mistake that caused their schedule to be off. I definitely would have lost sleep.

My sweet, kind husband didn’t say sorry once.

He was laughing at what a funny mix up. He couldn’t believe he had the dates wrong. He remarked that it must have been because he was so relaxed and hadn’t looked at a calendar all week. He didn’t apologize, because he didn’t feel he needed to.

Now, I haven’t read “Girl, Stop Apologizing” By Rachel Hollis. But, if I can guess by the title I imagine it is about how women say sorry for EVERYTHING! I apologize at least 4 times in every grocery store trip.

“Oops, sorry let me sneak past you.” to the person standing in the middle of the aisle.

“I need reach in front of you, sorry.” to the person just staring at the Goldfish.

“I do need cash back, sorry about that.” to the cashier who forgot to give me my $20.

“No, you go first! Sorry!” as I wave on the car trying to pull out in front of me.

On that 12 hour trip home, it was so obvious to me that my husband knew that what had happened was a crazy mistake. He didn’t do it on purpose. No one was hurt, we got out on time, we didn’t have to pay extra. There was nothing to apologize about, so he didn’t. I was in awe. I would have apologized at least to the Indiana state line and if I had, the whole car would have been annoyed and then I would have really been sorry.

Since our eviction from vacation (as we like to call it) I have tried to cut back on my apologies. I still say “sorry” if I have hurt someone or done something wrong. I just don’t want to say “sorry” for simply existing. I am not sorry for grabbing the Goldfish, we are at a grocery store. I could say “excuse me” when I squeeze around the person standing in the middle of the aisle. I can have manners and not over-apologize. If I make a mistake that really doesn’t hurt anyone, I could take a page out of my husband’s playbook and try to laugh, shake my head at what a silly thing I did and simply move on.