For the second year in a row, our family has taken a break from fall sports. Last year the decision was less intentional; my son wasn’t interested in playing soccer again. This year, we purposefully decided to step away.
Why? We were simply tired. With two kids in sports, one in track and one playing soccer, our spring and summer were filled with multiple practices a week, coaching, Saturday morning games, and hours spent outside at the track.
Don’t get me wrong, I see the value in youth sports. I love watching my kids try new things, make connections with teammates and coaches, and grow physically and mentally through the practice of sport. But the way our calendar was consumed was overwhelming at times. We were suddenly living in a way we never thought we would. You see, early on in our marriage, my husband and I decided that our family life would not be dominated by sports. Then, all of a sudden, we found ourselves in a season where it was. There was little margin for anything else.
Perhaps we were naive in those early days. We couldn’t predict what our kids would be interested in or the potential they would show. Turns out my son is a really good javelin thrower, and he actually enjoys it. He has big goals for his future, and as his parents, it’s our job to nurture that, right? As for our daughter, she’s still trying different sports and learning what she enjoys and what she doesn’t. In the spring, she randomly asked to play soccer. I felt the need to honor her interest.
Here lies the tension. When our kids are good at something or interested in trying something new, taking a break can feel risky. With more than half of kids ages 6 to 17 now playing organized sports, opting out can feel like stepping away from the norm. The message that comes with all of this is rarely spoken aloud, but easy to absorb: opportunity is limited and staying engaged is how you keep your child’s place. Even when a sport is seasonal, there’s an assumption that the offseason should be filled with something, whether that’s another team, a skills clinic, or training for the next sport on the calendar.
As I mentioned, my son is a strong javelin thrower with big goals, and he will play basketball this winter. We could have signed him up for something this fall to challenge him physically. We could’ve also continued soccer for my daughter or looked into other activities for her to try. Plenty of families do just that, and I understand why, but we chose not to. I’ll admit I wondered: What if this break costs my son something? What if we’re the parents who didn’t push hard enough?
Even amid all the “what-ifs,” we’ve found something that feels just as valuable as what we might be giving up: margin. Our evenings are slower. We can sit down for dinner together every night. Instead of looking at the clock and figuring out how to squeeze in homework, dinner, cleaning up, and everything else before someone needs to leave for practice, we can move through our evening with a little more. With our kids on two different schedules and a heavier homework load for my oldest, that extra breathing room has made a real difference.
Additionally, the mental load of a busy sports season weighed heavily on me as the keeper of our family schedule. I was constantly thinking ahead, juggling practice times and locations, who needed to be where, what time we needed to eat, whether dinner needed to be made early or picked up, and how everything else would fit around the sports schedule. None of those things is particularly difficult on its own, but the constant coordination adds up. In this season of taking a break from fall sports, I feel lighter without that extra layer of planning.
Though we have found margin in this season, it’s hard not to feel like we should be doing something, and part of me still wonders what my kids might be missing. Will they lack opportunities to grow physically or develop skills that their peers are building through other sports or training? Will taking a step back now mean they have to work harder to catch up later?
On the other hand, I also recognize that growth doesn’t only happen on the field, the court, or the track. There is value in having time to rest, explore other interests, be bored, and simply enjoy being a kid without the next activity already on the calendar. There is value in having the space to decide how we want to spend our time, rather than feeling like our time has already been spoken for.
When my husband and I talked about the kind of family life we wanted to create, this is what we had in mind. Not a life without sports or commitments, but one where they don’t dictate how we spend every season. Taking a break from fall sports has given us the opportunity to realign with that vision.
I’m not saying a break is right for every family. I’m also not saying we’ll never go back. I know our kids’ interests will change and their goals will evolve. Maybe next fall will look different. If my daughter wants to try a different sport or my son has an opportunity he’s excited about, we’ll have that conversation. Honoring how we want to live doesn’t mean we can’t change our minds. It just means being intentional about the choices we make along the way.
For now, we’re choosing to leave some space on the calendar. While I may still wonder what we might be missing, I’m grateful for what we’ve gained. The truth is, we can always choose to fill our calendar again. The harder thing, especially in a culture that tells us we should always be doing more, may be choosing to leave it open.
