Oh, Baby, Sharing a Room Is Hard

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©Africa images via Canva.com

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends sharing a room with a baby for the first six months of the baby’s life. 

We did not even make it close to six months with our first daughter (more like two weeks), but with our second one, I was determined to. This determination came from the fact that I knew better now and mostly because we didn’t have a bedroom for her. So, at six months, two weeks, and five days at the time of this writing, our daughter is still in our room. And sharing a room is hard.

“Put her in a closet,” suggested a friend. Nope, we don’t have a walk-in closet or even a closet big enough to fit a bassinet, let alone a crib. Our house was built in the 50s—I barely have enough room for my clothes.

Others ask, “What about your third bedroom?” My husband uses it for his office. We thought about having her crib in there at night and having her nap in the pack and play during the day in our room, but that hasn’t happened yet either.

This brings me back to my original point: she’s still in our room. It was nice for the first couple of months. Breastfeeding, putting the pacifier back in, hearing her breathe, etc. were all easier when she was right beside me. It worked for a while, and then it didn’t.

And somehow, we ended up with her in our bed. She didn’t sleep well in her pack-n-play when we transitioned to that. It was just easier. Me in the middle of our bed, facing her. My husband is on the other side. All of us squished in our queen-sized bed. (And following the seven ways to make bed-sharing safer.) That didn’t work for long. We’re in phase five (or six?!) of “making it work for right now.” She is sleeping at night in her crib (mostly). I am still in the bedroom, and my husband is on the couch searching for a good night’s sleep. 

What I wish I had known is that “the AAP also published research that found that after four months, room sharing results in less nighttime sleep and more night wakings for infants.” I feel like we’re a textbook case of this quote. She is still waking up twice, sometimes it’s hard to get her to go back to sleep, and frequently fusses around 4:30 AM.  Had I known this fact, I would have thought harder about moving her out of our room and into the office, knowing that a baby doesn’t care what a room looks like. 

Until then, I welcome any advice from moms on how you’ve made room-sharing work for YOU because sharing a room is hard–at least for us.