A Day Like Today
Today, we probably took our last errand day to Hobby Lobby (Hobby Wobby) with Grams, followed by lunch at Portillo’s to enjoy hot dogs and fries. The unplanned days of our past three years are coming to a close. I have been lucky to enjoy my time at home with Little Man. I have had an incredibly supportive husband who has worked hard to allow us to have this experience. But life will soon be changing. Our son will be starting school, and this mama will be returning to the working world.
About four years ago, I walked out of my job at Butler University Libraries with the expectation of returning three months later. Two weeks before my scheduled return, with no daycare set up for our 3-month-old, we took the plunge and decided I would stay home with our miracle baby to experience all the ”firsts” that go with a growing baby.
My husband and I labored over a new budget. We cut items, canceled subscriptions and economized to our best ability. An unexpected raise at Christmas solidified our decision for me to stay home. The first couple of months were hard. I missed working. While I am an introvert by nature, I did miss being around others. I missed excelling at something and feeling accomplished. Us new mamas tend to have lots of self-doubt. Which leads me to say, I probably had a case of baby blues, but I was loving seeing everything that our little man was learning.
Fast Forward
In less than a month, my guy is starting all day PreK at St. Richards Episcopal School. We decided on a private school for our son. I always feel like I must defend my decision, so here goes: We wanted the smaller class sizes, closeness, and security that a private school can provide. He seems to be smart and a quick learner. We wanted a place that would build on that and not try to fit him in a box of “<insert grade>.”
Our household is excited about the future! Do not get me wrong. Our guy is incredibly smart, and I know he is going to thrive in an environment that will foster his thirst to learn. He is inquisitive, observant, and tries to read every sign we pass. We are excited for the coming days as he learns new skills and starts playing with other kids.
Moving Onward and Upward
Returning to the workforce is scary. I had forgotten the amount of effort it takes to update a resume, scour the web for opportunities, create cover letters that hold someone’s interest for the 8 seconds they decide whether to call me in for an interview. An almost four-year hiatus is probably not going to work in my favor either. I do keep telling myself that a lot of mothers work and are successful. We will find our new stride and a new way of living this life we have created.
I recently read an article online about a mother who misses her little boy after he started kindergarten. I am terrified that my sweet little gentleman will be replaced with someone/something I do not know. That is one of my biggest fears. Little Man seems excited, but I do not think he has grasped the concept of what is about to happen. I know that we will have days that will be like our random errand days and we will still get hog dog and fries, but they will be different. All this change is marking a new chapter of our son’s life that this mama was not ready for.
These Days, They Don’t Last
I will miss our weekday adventures and alone time to play. However, I am excited to hear about his new experiences and discoveries with his school friends. He is growing so fast and time seems to be speeding up. My annoyance level to those strangers who would say, “Remember these days, they don’t last. “was always high. But you know. . . they were right. I have had thousands of minutes to cherish. My memories seem to be completely focused on the good times. I have almost forgotten the days of going without sleep and showers. Now my days are filled with sticky finger hugs, pecks on the cheek with an “I wuv you” thrown in.
I could not ask for more and the four-year work hiatus was worth the days like today!
