The Year I Lost My Creativity

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How can this be that it is already 2024? I spent 2023 healing, crying, getting an iron infusion, and spending time with family. I had therapy and became more pragmatic in my approach to life; I learned to deal with issues maturely as opposed to rolling my eyes at them. Graduate school occupied so much of my time, and I realized that at 42, learning still comes naturally to me. I was forced to read a lot and stay up late writing papers.

Much to my dismay because when I pulled all-nighters in undergrad, I didn’t have to be up at six am to get kids ready for school. My aunt became very ill, so hugs and time were of the essence, and watching her has taught me that life is only half circumstance and the other half is what you do with the circumstances. The year 2023 taught me that if you choose not to be still, your body will teach you stillness. We traveled, I learned to love podcasts, I read more, and at times, I felt like I was on an island alone. Friendships ended, new ones began, and I sought sage advice from my parents. However, the year that gave me so much took something away: I lost my creativity.

I sat down to write so many times, but when I began, I couldn’t get past the title. Had all of my graduate school writing taken away my outlet for recreational writing? Was my creativity gone? I was frustrated, and I had no answers when people asked me what my next post would be. Considering I have been writing for most of my life (I began writing at the Indianapolis Recorder when I was 11), there was no way in my over-communicative life that I had nothing to say.

I mean, presidential elections were coming, there were wars, my children were growing up, and those things needed to be talked about, but I couldn’t muster up the words, and if you know me, you know that I can not fake anything, so I didn’t write. My kids are hitting milestones, and although I was in awe of them, I couldn’t put the ideas to paper, which was very frustrating. There came a time when I thought maybe it was time to hang up my pen, and then I thought, ” What would Carrie Bradshaw do?” Very few things get me excited, but honestly, writing is an outlet for me. It allows me to express myself creatively, and I get joy from people saying, “I love what you wrote.”

Enter 2024. I feel well-rested, and I still have a lot to say. I had to give myself room to rest and return better, and the ideas began flooding back. I am a little more revitalized, a lot more focused, and ready to share more content. I write because I love it, and I feel so fortunate to be a part of a community (Indianapolis Moms) that supports me. So, as I enter year seven, I am fully ready to be open and transparent about my wins and losses. My creativity has returned. Watch out because I am coming in hot.

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