I think about having a third baby every day. I’m equal parts excited and apprehensive about how a third baby would fit into our lives. Unlike my first two pregnancies, when I always felt prepared, this time feels different. Am I ready for a third child?
I fixate on the timing. It has to be perfect.
Our two toddlers, ages three and one, keep us Busy (capital B busy). Outings are enjoyable but never without challenges. We’re still teaching them the basics of safety – hold my hand in a parking lot, don’t run away, cars are dangerous. Soon, they’ll grasp that concept. Maybe then I could imagine a third little person to wrangle.
My youngest will be out of diapers in a year or two. Ah, sweet relief. Maybe then.
But the age gap can’t be so big that our littlest feels left out or left behind.
There is so much to consider for an outcome in which I have little control.
The amount of families with three children has stayed consistent for three decades, averaging about one-fifth. In 2018, 41% of Americans thought, in theory, three is the ideal number of children, according to Gallup. Many studies point to American women having fewer children than they’d like to, and it’s not hard to reason why, with economic concerns, career priorities, childcare costs, and a number of other factors.
Leslie Root, a demographer and postdoctoral scholar at the University of California, Berkeley, said in a New York Times article that given the rising costs of parenthood, large families have, in a way, become a luxury.
Maybe that’s true, but it’s a luxury I pray I get to experience. For now, my husband and I have decided to work on building the very best life into which she or he may someday be welcomed.
