Welcome to fall, a beautiful time of the year. The leaves are falling, the kids are back in school, the temperatures are cooling, and there are seemingly activities every weekend. And the kids are excited. There are bonfires, hayrides, football games, birthday parties, Halloween parties, school parties, and of course, apple orchards. Behind all these things is a mother with a color-coded calendar organizing it all. Then, there is me, in the shower sobbing at the thought of all these things. Moms get tired.
This Stage of Life is Exhausting
Not to brag, but I consider myself a pretty great mother. I am efficient and organized and care deeply for my family. But friends, when I say that life is exhausting for me right now, I am being sincere. Something I am sure every mother feels but is afraid to say for the sake of looking ungrateful. I remember one particular evening, I got home late from work and never sat down. I just began cooking dinner. Then my children came into the kitchen and told me I had to sign a permission slip for a field trip. And then, my husband came in to tell me he had a meeting after work the next day, so he would be home late. A little bit later, I was folding laundry upstairs, and my daughter said, “Mommy, you look so tired.” I sat on the bench in my room and began to cry because, at that point, I thought that if my six-year-old saw how tired I was, the world could see it.
This is not indicative of anything I am doing incorrectly as a mother or a wife. This is indicative of societal expectations and the pressure on moms to be perfect at “mom-ing.” We are putting our all into everything and leaving no room for ourselves, which is where the problem lies.
I have news for everyone. Moms get tired, and it is something that everyone should know.
We abruptly put ourselves in charge of family relations. We are the ones who organize everything, including everyone’s social calendars and events. Moms become the default person that everyone looks at to do it all. But it is in us, and this will probably never change because it is easier for everyone to feel comfortable knowing that mom has it. But does she really?
Times are changing, and in households, it seems everyone is bearing the brunt of the responsibility, which is amazing. But I am learning to give myself grace. I look at myself in the mirror and say, “DeAndrea, you are tired and need to pause.” After everything I have seen and been through, I know when I need that break.
I want everyone, especially moms, to be able to say that. I want you to tell yourself, “I am tired and need to take a break.” Those nine words can change your day. But more importantly, your sanity.
Happy Fall, mommas! We see you and know that moms get tired. You can handle this.