Something big happened this month—I got a job! After staying home full-time for almost seven years, our family is trying something new, and I have feelings about it. I’m grateful, excited, and a little bit terrified. As challenging as staying home has been, it’s the only job I’ve known since I had our son seven years ago, and I’m anxious to see how this transition will unfold in our family dynamic.
Before having kids, I envisioned myself as a stay-at-home parent and thought I may be well-suited for the job (Oh, how I’ve been humbled)! This became my reality when we welcomed our son in 2017, and, as overwhelmed as I was, I was grateful to find my footing as a mom without the external pressures of a job outside the home. Staying home with a baby, while undoubtedly difficult, was, in many ways, pretty dreamy. We enjoyed walks on the Monon, errands on a random Tuesday, playdates, and the general autonomy that staying home allows. Our second son was born in 2019, which was quickly followed by a global pandemic, and my attitude about staying home began to shift. I envied my husband as he went off to work and enjoyed twenty glorious minutes in the car alone. By the time our daughter arrived a couple of years later, our home felt like an animal house most days. I was drowning in kids, surrounded by messes in every direction, and desperate to drink my coffee four times before 9 am without reheating it. I was physically overstimulated but mentally hungry for some adult engagement (enter my love of podcasts).
When our daughter turned one, I started to let myself dream a little bit about what it might look like for me to start working outside the home in some capacity. I knew I didn’t want to go back to teaching because I needed some flexibility which left me perplexed about what might come next. I entertained several options, including assisting in a school part-time, working a fun retail job on the weekends, and going back to school to become a therapist, but nothing felt like quite the right fit. Truth be told I was just scared–scared that employers would take one look at my resume and I wouldn’t stand a chance.
After a year of mulling over whether working outside the home was something I should pursue right now or not, an opportunity presented itself. I had no experience in the particular industry, but the flexible hours and part-time work suited our family’s needs, and I decided to apply. It was a painstaking process to update my resume, which hadn’t been touched in nearly a decade, but with the help and encouragement (SO MUCH encouragement) of my husband, sisters, and friends, I submitted my application and interviewed for the job.
I received the email a few days after my interview notifying me that I had been accepted for the position. I was surprised by how emotional it made me; it had been a long time since a stranger had noticed qualities in me that they deemed valuable. I don’t say all of this for pity; I chose to stay home, and I’m grateful to have had that choice, but it can be insular, and being hired by someone who didn’t know me meant a lot. One of the most satisfying parts of parenting for me is subscribing to the belief that investing in my kids brings value to the world in some small way. I’m looking forward to trying on some different hats now and investing in my kids by modeling for them what it means to go and do something new, even when it feels a little scary. I have a lot to learn, but this feels like the start of a new chapter that I couldn’t have imagined writing a few years ago. Watch out, world, here I come!
