Listen up, mamas. We have been sold a lie about life. The lie is that life is hard, and we must put everyone else’s needs before our own. We have to fill everyone else’s cup, and we can get some of the overflows if we’re lucky. It’s all fake news. I’m here to tell you that you deserve to be happy. Not just glimpses of happiness throughout the day or week but pure, dance in the frickin’ rain happiness. You deserve to be truly happy and fulfilled.
We all know “Mom Life,” and the “Struggle is Real,” and yes, being a parent can be a daily ride on the struggle bus. The constant image we see of a “mom” is a worn-out, bags under her eyes, constantly crying, doing all the things superwoman. Are we going to have those moments as moms and as parents? Absolutely. But do you ever sit back and think, maybe it doesn’t always have to be this way? I’m here to tell you it doesn’t. What if you can be truly happy?
I saw this quote from Kim Kardashian the other day that really got to me. I will leave my thoughts and feelings about the Kardashians out of this post, but dang, Kim K spoke to my soul:
“In the last two years, I decided I would make myself happy. And that feels really good. And even if that created changes and caused my divorce, I think it’s important, to be honest with yourself about what really makes you happy. I’ve chosen myself. I think it’s ok to choose you.”
Now I know Kim K has a privilege that most moms and most people in the world don’t, but regardless, she’s right. It is absolutely ok to choose yourself. Even as a mom, you have that freedom. Mind-blowing right? Mind-blowing because we are constantly told we have little to no freedom and that all our time and effort should be spent on our children. The kids come first.
What if we changed the narrative and said that our kids, your kids, deserve a happy and fulfilled mom? Mic drop. Oh, we just changed the game, mamas! Do your kids currently have a happy and fulfilled mom? Sit with that for a second. I am pretty sure most moms in their years of motherhood have rarely thought about their true happiness.
I was there. Sure, I had a happy life. Sure, I had moments of happiness, but was I truly happy and fulfilled? No. Now, I can’t tell you how to find that yourself because that is a journey you must go on your own. I know that sounds really scary, and it’s not easy. You have the strength to do that, whatever that looks like, the strength is there. As hard as it may be to take that first step when you get to the other side of it and find your true happiness, it’s all worth it.
I realize simply telling you to be happy and find your joy is not helpful. A few things that helped me jump-start my journey that may also help you were therapy, journaling, listening to podcasts (I highly recommend “We Can Do Hard Things” – Glennon Doyle’s podcast), and connecting with my support system. Another big piece of this journey was I stopped worrying about what I should be doing or what my life should look like. Instead, I focused on what I wanted this life to look like and realized I had the power to choose. You get to make that choice of what your life looks like. Pretty great, huh?
So here it is, mamas, here is your permission to choose yourself. Start choosing yourself today and every day, and I promise your children will be better for it. You deserve happiness, and your children deserve a happy mom.