The Password Kid: I Have a Favorite Child and That’s OK


With a bold smirk, my preteen daughter, Reya, enters the room and gets close to my face. “I know the answer to this, “she says in a low tone, “but just to clarify… I’m the Password Kid, right?” Instantly, I’m confused. What the heck is a Password Kid? The one who sets up the password when my exhausted 40-year-old brain can’t muster up the strength to troubleshoot a website? Does she mean something more complicated?

I did some social media sleuthing to figure it out and discovered a simpler meaning. Gen Z coined Password Kid to describe their parents’ favorite offspring. The majority of entertainment and business accounts are created using this child’s name or birthdate as a password. Teens and young adults can be seen all over social media proudly proclaiming their position as the Password Kid, a coveted status in the family.

My husband, Antoine, and I have three children: Reya, who is 12, Maxwell just turned four this past October, and our youngest, Aria, is two. Each one has a strong personality and makes their presence known; there isn’t a dud in the bunch! Any of them would make sense as “the chosen one,” but there isn’t really a stand-out, clear-cut Golden Child.

I neither confirmed nor denied the identity of my Password Kid because preteen drama wasn’t in my afternoon plans. The truth is, though, I don’t have a Password Kid. I rely on the “strong password” feature that generates random numbers and letters. I save that to my devices to make life easy. Never fret, though; I’m still spilling the tea! I don’t have a Password Kid, but I do have a favorite child. I feel no guilt, shame, or regret in saying that.

In full transparency, my “favorite child” changes yearly, monthly, weekly, or even daily. It all depends on the stage of life we’re in, what the day was like, or who I feel connected to at that moment. Reya is the heart of the family; she cheers everyone up during stressful times with her contagious laugh and gregarious nature. Maxwell is a textbook middle child, the problem solver, and the responsible one who tries his best to fix issues. Aria has stereotypical “baby of the family” traits; the world revolves around her, and we all eagerly give in to her every want and need.

Antoine, me, and our three favorites.

My favorite child may change periodically, but I’m still saying I like a kid more than their siblings. And that’s fine. I don’t have a consistent favorite, but I have friends and family members who have shared that they do. They prefer a particular kid’s company, simply feeling more connected to one child. And that’s ok.

The key is not to show favoritism. Even when I’m in the season of preferring one child, the other two don’t have a clue. I make sure to spend quality time with all three of them, whether at home or on a 1:1 outing just for them. I also try hard not to compare them aloud or in my mind. Each child has unique needs, and it’s important for me to honor those needs, even when I’m not vibing with that child at the moment.

Whether you have a consistent favorite, a revolving door of favorites like me, or no favorite at all, the only thing that matters is that each child feels loved, valued, and seen. That’s what our kids will remember most of all, even more than who the Password Kid was.