Okay, I know, I’m pretty sure the last three posts I’ve written have been about either things that annoy me, things I refuse to do anymore, or some other whiny things.
But as 2016 begins, I just want one last purge of the things I’ll be leaving behind in 2015, including certain types of people. These are the people I would block on social media, and are also the people I’ll be letting go of in my real life this year:
- Humblebraggers. You know who you are, and you are beyond annoying. And this is coming from a person who knowingly floods timelines and Instagram feeds with pictures of my kids. But if you’re hash-tagging anything with “#sograteful” or “#blessed” (not sincerely or ironically) or “#____isthebest”, what you’re doing is trying to downplay whatever it is you’re bragging about. Oh, and also anything hash-tagged “#___isbetter/cuter/more expensivethanyours.” Come on. Just admit you love the self-promoting machine that is social media, and own it. Humblebraggers, you are OUT.
- If you’re spreading hate on social media, you know what you are: Xenophobes. I just. I can’t anymore. It’s fine if you ended up one of the eight people on my friends list who likes Donald Trump, because I don’t know, maybe you’re following all the candidates. But I’m done with the racist, homophobic, xenophobic posts. I don’t think anyone has ever changed their mind because of a Facebook argument, and I just can’t engage anymore. To you, you’re talking about ideas of people you probably don’t know in person. To me, you’re talking about ACTUAL people who I know and love and respect. Good luck to you in the future, because I’ll be leaving you in 2015.
- Toxic friends. So the thing about me, and most humans, is that you can really only trust people to be fallible. And people screw up, all the time. But, if we’re friends, I like you and I want you to succeed–if you shine, I shine. I want to be the type of friend who commiserates when things are bad, lets you know I’m happy for you when things are good, and won’t judge you for…anything. Not your love life, how much money you do or don’t have, your level of education, your stay-at-home or work choices, whatever. What I don’t want, though, is to be a friend to someone who only makes me feel bad about the things that make me fallible: I’m always late, I like to work, our money situation, where we live, where we choose to work, goals, whatever. If I’m really honest, what I want in a friend is someone who is nice to me, nice to my kids, and whose kids are nice to mine, too. And that’s the type of friend I want to be in return. But if I can’t, because you’re toxic and kind of mean, then you are blocked…in real life.
If You Compare Your Kids to Mine. This one is somewhat involuntary. Not long ago, this person was holding my baby and she spit up through her nose (because she did that for a while), and his comment was something like, “EWWWWW! Take this baby!” As much as in my head I want to be like, “Oh, no big deal, it is gross and I’m sure he was embarrassed after he said that…” I don’t care. It doesn’t matter–no amount of logical rationalizing takes away the feeling of, “You said this about my baby, and now I don’t really feel any pressure to be your friend.” So Peace Out, kid-comparers. I don’t need you in my village.
And now I’m done. When I was in high school, we had a motivational speaker come talk to us and as part of of a magic trick or something, he lit a dryer sheet on fire, and it immediately disintegrated. He ended his speech with that act and the phrase, “Light it up, let it go.” Even though now that sounds like a pretty obvious drug reference to me (right?), I think about it frequently. So now I’m lighting up all the things that annoy me, letting them go, and I welcome you, 2016. I hope you bring peace and happiness, and I can’t wait to see what’s in store.