Hi 40, It’s Me Deandrea


After a year of anticipation, the time has finally come, and I am 40. I do not take this lightly and honestly, it is not met with any trepidation, I am strangely excited. After many hours of therapy and tons of self-reflection, I can officially say that I am so excited about a new decade. The reasons are not because I have it all figured out or because of the adage “Black don’t crack”, but simply because I have learned to find joy in things that I have never experienced before. 

There is very little advice that I can offer anyone who is about to turn 40, but I will say this, I wouldn’t take anything for the wisdom I have now. In my therapy session, this past Thursday was full of emotions, I laughed, cried, and reflected. We talked about the things I missed, and the people I missed. We also talked about the ambiguity of my 30s, along with the best and worst times that I had endured. We addressed my expectations for the next decade and how I can best honor myself. The most important thing that she mentioned was the fact that I am now at a point of evolution. Meaning, things that have been a constant to this point may no longer be a part of my journey. People may not necessarily die but they will leave your life and friendships will change and some may end. That left me floored and overcome with emotion and after my session, I continued to cry because in the past year, my friendships and relationships have become more complicated and I was not ready for it. However, my prayer is that I always continue to realize that life is full of seasons and people will not go into each season with you and that is okay.

So I have decided that for my 40th evolution around the sun, I have set three feasible goals.

1. Give myself grace and stop negative self-talk

2. Take some time for me (no matter how busy I am)

3. Don’t take everything personally.

This year is significant and I am the only person in charge of my happiness, I am no longer the little girl who made excuses for bad behavior, I am the adult woman who will spend time correcting it. 

Therefore, cheers to 40 years of living, learning, love, and lessons. I am beyond grateful for everything I have been blessed with, I don’t deserve it, but God continues to see fit to bless me with wonderful friends and my amazing family. So I welcome you 40 with an open heart and mind.