Well, we made it. We finally closed the chapter on 2021. A year went out kicking and screaming, but it’s over. We survived a year that somehow seemed crazier than its predecessor. A new year is finally here.
The onset of a new year brings the opportunity for a fresh start and new beginnings. A time to reflect on the past and prepare for the future. A chance to grow and work to become a better version of yourself. To recenter and think about what you want to accomplish over the next 52 weeks.
But if you’re anything like me, the goal-setting that comes from those reflections can sound more like a roast within the inner monologue of my failures from the last year.
“Last year, you promised to put your phone down and read more.”
“You look worse now than you did at this time last year.”
“When are you going to get those closets organized? You’ve had that on your list for over a year.”
“Everyone else around you is just as busy as you are, but they seem to make exercising/cooking/socializing/cleaning a priority.”
I’m realizing my inner voice has become my biggest problem. When did I start talking to myself like that?
When I really reflect on how I talk to myself, I cringe. Would I ever speak that way to my husband? To my kids? To my family or friends? Absolutely not. I wouldn’t even talk to a stranger that way. If I ever heard a friend talking to one of my kids using the same words, I would be horrified. “People who care about each other don’t speak that way,” I would insist.
So why do I allow my inner voice to speak that way?
Somehow, over the years, I’ve allowed this. Even worse than allowing it, I’ve believed it. The destruction from these inner thoughts has slowly chipped away at my confidence and self-worth. And for what? Did it help motivate me to get it together and make a change? No. Instead, it convinced me that there is no use in even trying.
It’s time to make a change.
This year, instead of making a resolution (or many resolutions, as it usually goes), I’m trying something different. I’m letting go of “resolutions” and focusing on one thing. Speaking kindly to myself. I’m going to speak to myself the way I speak to others. I will be my biggest cheerleader and, more importantly, give myself grace. I will show myself kindness. I refuse to sabotage my potential future successes by continuing on my current path.
If I change the way I speak to myself or about myself, will it boost my self-worth and trickle down to indirectly help those areas of my life that I’ve wanted to improve? It seems like it’s worth a try.
So this year, I’m changing the conversation. I’m hopeful that changing the narrative of my inner voice will help me become the best version of myself in 2022.