This summer marks five years since I decided to leave full-time work. As I contemplated stepping away from the workforce, I was scared and uncertain about what the future would hold. Yet underneath those fears was a sense of hope and optimism, a sort of “knowing” that I was making the right decision, not just for my family, but for myself as well. Five years later, I still say it’s one of the best decisions I ever made.
As my career progressed, work demanded more and more of my energy, leaving me feeling stretched thin at both home and work and ultimately impacting my overall well-being. Over time, the stress increased, and the passion I once had for my work began to fade.
At the same time, my oldest was preparing to enter kindergarten. We were still navigating life in the wake of a global pandemic, and there was so much uncertainty around what school would look like. I couldn’t imagine how we would manage sudden schedule changes, virtual learning, or the unpredictability of that season with two parents working full-time from home. Little by little, everything happening in and around me seemed to point in the same direction: it was time to take a step back.
I’ll be honest, the transition from full-time work to stay-at-home mom life wasn’t easy. It challenged my beliefs about identity and brought many of my fears to the surface. But I also found something I desperately needed. The slower pace helped me become more present, gave me space to care for myself again, and ultimately allowed me to redefine what motherhood looks like for me.
After spending about two years away from work, I returned in a very limited part-time capacity. Over the last three years, that work has gradually evolved and grown, but I’ve still been able to maintain the flexibility to be present for my family in the ways that matter most to me.
Now, with my oldest child preparing for intermediate school this fall, I sometimes find myself wondering what it would look like to return to full-time work. Honestly, the thought feels overwhelming. With more workplaces returning to in-office or hybrid schedules, combined with the cost and availability of childcare, the benefits simply do not outweigh the cost for our family at this point in time. This space in between feels just right for me.
Five years later, I’m still learning and growing, but the most important lessons I’ve learned so far are:
Do what’s best for your family, even if it looks different from what others expect.
Hold your plans loosely and remain open to possibilities you may not have considered before.
And perhaps most importantly, remember yourself in whatever season of motherhood you are in, whether that means working full time, staying home, or living somewhere in between. In the way I was previously balancing motherhood and career, I lost myself. Stepping away from full-time work gave me the opportunity to rediscover who I was outside of what I could produce or accomplish.
Lastly, as my pastor often says, “You are not what you do.” That is a lesson I am still learning every day. It can be so easy to tie our worth to our careers or even our motherhood. But we are so much more than either of those things. And for me, these last five years have been about learning to believe that.
