“No one can throw a bigger tantrum than a narcissist who is losing control of someone else’s mind.” -Unknown Author
Sigh…I cannot believe I’m penning a post about any form of “Kardashian kulture.” Still, here I am, the standard social-media-using-American who has spent the last few months as a voyeur on the exploits of whatever Kanye (and Kim and Pete) provide us for fodder. But beyond the fodder lies a series of observations, the red flags of a narcissist, that young women could take as lessons learned about male ego, abusive power dynamics, and (in a shock to even myself) Kim’s silence bringing strength in a time of turmoil. We take from Kanye and Kim the new American landscape of realizing a narcissist when we are seeing one. And the day of reckoning on narcissists living covertly has come to fruition.
Women, ladies, sisters, moms, aunts, grandmas…any human that knows a woman, it’s time to lean in on the conversation about what we have been observing from Ye. Some have compared his antics to just that, antics. Others who have a grasp on abusers and their ways have likened his actions to a build-up much like OJ Simpson before Nicole’s demise. Two completely opposing ends of a spectrum on, “How serious should we take his behavior?” And just think, while lashing out in ways that rival a young hormonal teen, much of his fan base was fawning over his new album, chiding his shenanigans, and praising his Netflix release.
All the while, Kim, relatively silent. Yes, living her life, but not with the boisterous tenacity for nastiness her ex was using, and certainly not trying to drag him through mud.
We have witnessed the panic, rage, and mastermind practices of a lifelong narcissist who could not manipulate those he had so craftily controlled. Young women, teens, girls eyeing their 7th-grade crush…please. take. note. It’s time to have more open conversations on what feeds to the beast of narcissism. To defeat a beast, we must dissect that which makes it tick.
It’s a feeling of desire to pump the ego of the narcissist. It’s being gaslit time and time again. It’s purposely being made to feel lesser-than. It’s cyclical. It’s maddening to be caught up in. And at the end of the day, IF a survivor to a narcissistic relationship or friendship can manage to leave, and often this means completely cutting off the abuser, the fallout can often lead to a form of new, heightened ego-pumping, gaslighting, and abuse cycles that go on without the presence of the vacated partner. Exhibit A: Kim. She vacated the relationship, and Ye was put into overdrive to try and tarnish her in any way he could, publicly.
What do we take from this as a lesson series? Kanye’s red flags are THE red flags of a narcissistic personality. To a young woman or daughter who finds herself being bashed via text when she doesn’t immediately hop to a boyfriend’s request to meet up or, worse, sending a nude pic, RED. FLAG. CITY. To the man-child who lashes out on social media immaturely after a woman sets a boundary. RED. FLAG. CITY. One-way ticket…
Let’s change the narrative on the Kanye antics. Fodder? Yeah sure. But there is value here in helping shape a new era in setting stern boundaries, leaving abusers behind using silence as a tactic and disarming the narcissists of the tools that they use to triumph. The day of reckoning on narcissists living covertly has come, and everyone who has a loved one in the midst of a current or former narcissistic partner should be here for it.