One of the most-used sayings by any parent is probably “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.” As adults, we have heard that saying for 30+ years, and we continue to say it to our children repeatedly as we break up sibling fights in the living room. The world knows this is an honest and true statement, yet why do people not follow it? This statement has been especially true, and it might be one of the biggest reasons I deleted all social media from my devices.
My 90s childhood was filled with cute trolls with bright neon colored hair and a shiny gem for a belly button, but unfortunately, the word “troll” now refers to someone being unkind online. An under the bridge, hiding from those passing by, and just being a complete grump, kind of troll.
With many things changing in our country right now, and feeling like the country is becoming more and more divided, the trolls keep creeping out of their dark spaces and still feel they have a right to be nasty online. Now, I understand that people have the right to state what they believe, think, etc., but where have people’s filters gone? People have lost relationships with close friends, family members, and coworkers due to feeling invincible online. So, truly, the statement needs to become:
If you don’t have anything nice to say, scroll on.
We, as adults and parents, need to model the correct online behavior to our kids because they are always watching and listening. Saying hurtful things online, whether you know the person you’re commenting on at all, needs to stop. Kids are online way too early in life and believe this is an acceptable way to behave online. This is how our cyber bullying gets out of hand. Kids are seeing this from us, and we need to stop.
I’d like to believe that people can change, and our online presence can return to being a positive environment where people can stay connected, leave politics, body shaming, and their opinions out of the space, and no more negativity can be inserted.
As a teacher, my natural thought was to create a checklist to follow. If you can say “no” to each simple question below, the comment is probably acceptable, and you can feel confident posting and not regretting it later.
- Will my comment hurt someone’s feelings or upset them in any way?
- Will my comment cause others to look at this person differently?
- Will I feel guilty after the comment is sent?
If you can’t decide, it is probably just best not to post and scroll on. You won’t want the feeling after you push enter. You can’t take it back once it is out there. The best visual for this is if I have an entire tube of toothpaste that I choose to squirt out. Once it is squirted out, I can’t put the toothpaste back in. Words are the same way. Once you say them, you can’t take them back. It’s simple, just be nice.
