Show Up for Your People

This past Christmas, I made some friends a “make your own pizza” kit, complete with a lump of pizza dough, a pack of shredded cheese, a portion of sauce, and some pepperoni. I packaged it all in a freezer-safe container and dropped it off on their doorsteps. I chose this gift specifically because the thing I would most want is for someone to bring me dinner. Even when nothing out of the ordinary is going on, it’s hard to plan and cook dinner with kids running around. I figured I couldn’t be alone in this.

Half of the friends texted me to say they had made the pizza for dinner that night and loved not having to think up a plan. I couldn’t have been happier!

The dinner was a fun gift, but I think it’s an even better blessing when life is hard—when something out of the ordinary is going on that complicates your time and emotions. There’s something truly wonderful about receiving a meal during times like those, where you don’t have to plan, make decisions, cook, order it yourself, or tip the delivery person. It’s stress-free. It reminds you that you have a circle of people around you. You’re not alone.

Because of how much I’ve appreciated dinners dropped off at my house after new babies or a death in the family, I’m quick to offer dinners for others. Unless I’m signing up on a website to bring them a meal, I’m usually texting my friends, asking them if dinner would be helpful. But sometimes, if you ask, people will say no, even if they really want to say yes. Maybe they’re just being polite, or maybe they don’t want to be an inconvenience. But here’s the thing—a dinner, especially a freezer-friendly dinner—is always helpful. So, my goal this year is to just bring the dinner to my friends if I think it could be a blessing. I don’t need to ask. I just need to show up and drop it off.

There are a lot of ways you could show up. Maybe it is bringing a dinner. Maybe it’s sending a gift card. Maybe it’s offering to babysit, running an errand, or dropping off a coffee. Maybe it’s cleaning someone’s toilet. Maybe it’s just sitting with your friend. Maybe it’s listening while they cry, talk, or vent. During a busy time in my life, I once had a friend insist on doing the absolute mountain of dishes in my kitchen while I sat on the couch and pumped. What a treasure of a friend to do something I would never ask anyone to do for me. What a blessing it was to have a completely clean kitchen on a night I wasn’t expecting it. She just showed up for me, and I felt very loved.

I think a lot of people don’t always know what to say when the people in their life are going through something hard. I know I don’t. But just because I don’t know what to say, I will still show up. And hopefully, I’ll show up in a way that doesn’t put any extra burden on my friends.

So, whatever it is you choose to do, just do it. Don’t think about it and let the moment pass you by. Show up for your people, and let them feel and see your love for them.