My husband and I hoped and prayed for this pregnancy for years. I went through surgery for endometriosis, a miscarriage, and three years of secondary infertility that followed, and then again another surgery. Through it all, we held onto hope and the feeling that our family wasn’t complete yet. So when we saw the two pink lines on the pregnancy test on an ordinary Monday in May, we were thrilled. Shocked. Grateful. Excited! It was early — only three weeks and some change. I felt good, thankfully, allowing me to get through the end of the school year, or “Maycember” — moms know. And then, week six arrived. The exhaustion, the all-day nausea, and the emotions hit me like a truck. My kids didn’t know the news yet, but I wondered if they suspected anything when I started going to bed at 6 pm, after my husband got home from work. Surviving the first trimester is difficult regardless, but getting through it when you have a family to take care of complicates it even more. Here are some things that helped me get through it, one day at a time!
It’s your body, and you can cry if you want to.
Sometimes crying was, and is, the only thing that makes me feel better. When you feel horrible, and no one knows the news yet, it can be the best form of therapy. Lock yourself in your room and cry for a little bit before you have to face the world again. It somehow eases my nausea too, but I can’t explain the science behind it!
Eat, even if you don’t want to.
If you suffer from first trimester nausea like me, you have to eat. The strange thing is, not eating makes me feel nauseous, but eating can also make me feel nauseous. Small meals are key! Taking advantage of grocery pickup is also key — no one feels like walking through a grocery store while feeling flu-like. Club soda with lime, cereal, smoothies, and pasta are my go-tos.
Lean into fast food and takeout.
This is not the time to feel guilty about eating out. Feeding a family while feeling nauseous and/or fatigued is the most difficult thing about the first trimester for me. While we’re normally an eat-out-once-a-week type of family, we have spent more money and time picking up takeout in the first trimester than in any other season of life. It’s not ideal, but we’re in survival mode here. Of course, the cost of food adds up, so I also recommend leaning into easy meals like cereal, sandwiches, and buttered noodles — we do a lot of that over here too!
If you’re struggling, ask for help.
There’s a lot of controversy about when to announce a pregnancy. If you are feeling miserable and still trying to go to work, or take care of kids at home, it can feel depressing and isolating to do it alone. I recommend confiding in at least one friend or family member, in case you do need help. They might offer to make your family a meal, or watch your kids during doctor’s appointments, and you won’t feel so alone! Depending on your kids’ ages, you might want to tell them, too. We ended up telling our kids around 10 weeks, and they suddenly understood why I was going to bed so early!
Rest up when you can.
When I was pregnant and had toddlers, I would lay on the couch and let them pile toys on me while they played. My kids are older now, and they can watch a show while I lay down and take a nap. This is just a season (I keep reminding myself!), and if you are spending more time doing “nothing” at home, it’s okay. I find that I’m less nauseous when I’m well-rested, so I try not to feel as guilty about the extra TV time.
If you are also in this season, congratulations on your pregnancy, and best wishes for a less nauseous, more energized second trimester!
